[原创]走入晨曦的背影
<p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"><p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">熟悉的影子在晨曦里重现</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">泪水</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> </span><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">快乐的像两条小溪般蜿蜒</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">不为今天</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">不为明天</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">只为曾经理解过的昨天</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">在那灯火闪烁的夜晚</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">在那霞光初露的晨间</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">我们</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">曾是两只开心的云燕</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">飞翔在</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">纯美的空间</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">不知是一场春风</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">还是一阵秋雨</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">把理解</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">跌落在友情面前</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">我</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">踯躅着</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">偏离了熟悉的视线</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">曾经的</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> </span><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">曾经的依稀可见</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">就让那心头的影子</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">在晨曦中</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">渐行渐远</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></font></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 15pt;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">2006-7-25</font></span></p>[此贴子已经被作者于2006-7-25 10:08:05编辑过]
<p>很美的意境，读诗给我强烈的画面感，很优美。</p><p>我认为个别句子有待打磨，可再凝练些。像“<span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><font face="宋体">泪水</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> </span><font face="宋体"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; mso-ascii-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">快乐的像两条小溪般蜿蜒</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; COLOR: #565656; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma;"> ”。有些通俗了。</span></font></p>
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