[原创]请编辑批评指正散文诗:古镇的记忆
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 177.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 16.81; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><b><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">古镇的记忆</span><span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 31.6pt; mso-char-indent-count: 3.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><b><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">等待</span><span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">雨后的青涩小巷,延伸出一个古老的故事。一个饱经沧桑的老人在巷道的一角,眯着眼透过岁月的门槛,咀嚼回忆这块干粮。等待?抑或,只为敲打青石板上蹒跚的脚步。悠长而僻静、这回音沉重且舒缓。小巷有森林的静默、空灵,断壁残垣处有一只壁虎,老练而娴熟,瞬间悄无踪影,留下一道看不见的爬痕,像心中留下的那道看不见的伤痛。晚钟又在敲响,这该死的黄昏,脚步如此匆匆,似乎被焦虑胁迫。城东头的那位姑娘正落落大方,像春天一样,正踩踏清晨残留的月光。和古镇一样苍老的人在等待黄昏,等侍记忆跳过。捕捉一个孤独的音符,填补青春空白的乐章。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"> <p></p></font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.55pt;"><b><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">回忆</span><span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">喜欢听雨的唠叨,那时风儿像羽毛撩拔着冲动的心房。那时的天空总是蓝色,那么亲近自然,有一个影子总在黄昏,眺望远方,总在雨夜俯下身体聆听……如一只虫子在孤独的寻找方向。在古镇的城墙根,埋藏着一段爱情,像墙角边的那朵小花一样凄美而富有生命力。记忆像秋天的落叶般枯黄,在每个梦里,她却有着树的枝繁叶茂。城墙外边的小河忍不住整夜为她哭泣。美丽的姑娘,常年含着泪水,可她没有哭。等待的姿势成为一座雕塑,这些动人的曲线由谁雕琢。是将谁在今夜敲响你的门?披着风衣苍劲的骨骼又迈步于时间的门槛儿。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"> <p></p></font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.1pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.55pt;"><b><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">飘泊</span><span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">夜被一根香烟烧痛,呻吟无声无息。古老的建筑从出生就一直没有动过,梦里飘然而至的白色长衣,打破古镇的寂寥。你的脚步像雨点散落一地,瞬息,不知去向。城墙是你身体的某一部分。这扎根于在土地深处的灵魂终究还是面朝着家的方向。故乡是你的第三只眼睛,小桥流水和眼镜,乌蓬船和婚期,抚慰你的身体。青苔爬满城墙的身体。试图要留住什么?船家撑起船桅要起航,承载你的梦想和希望,又驶入一副绝美的风景画。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"> <p></p></font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"> <p></p></font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">作者地址:贵州民族学院文学与传播学院</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">03</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">新闻</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">1</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">班</span><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">唐大飞(笔名辑子)</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">邮编:</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">550025</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">邮箱:</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">fue_789@163.net</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0; mso-char-indent-size: 10.5pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"> <p></p></font></span></p> <p>语言上平了一些,但还是再现了古镇的沧桑味道。意境很好!</p> 谢谢编辑的指点啊.学习了~~恍然有所悟.今后会努力!!! <span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><strong>先读这个《飘泊》,说点看法:前半部分还可以,后半部分语镜和句子的组织上没斟酌好。散文诗写的优美而又有诗意,确实不容易,我们努力吧!</strong></span>
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