香祖儿 发表于 2006-6-20 21:38:01

[原创]阳光透过玻璃

<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 方正姚体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">阳光透过玻璃</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 方正姚体;"><p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 隶书; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">文<span lang="EN-US">/香祖儿<p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">屋外有风</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">很大</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">干裂的树枝</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">不断被摇跌</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">有人听见了老树的疼痛</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">阳台上的花盆几次</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">险些载倒</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">最终有惊无险</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">小草被风和土不怀好意的紧紧拥裹</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">为露出手脚</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">付出了惨痛代价</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">之后,身姿越来越妩媚</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">狂风摇晃着阳光</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">企图阻止阳光透过玻璃</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">而阳光折折叠叠</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">巧妙周旋</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">温柔的泻进屋内</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">这正是春天</span></p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">需要通过冒险和考验才能到达夏天</span>

采袂 发表于 2006-6-22 12:56:55

<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">狂风摇晃着阳光</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">企图阻止阳光透过玻璃</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">而阳光折折叠叠</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">巧妙周旋</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">温柔的泻进屋内</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">这正是春天</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">需要通过冒险和考验才能到达夏天</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">很喜欢这段,前面的叙述稍白了点</span></p>

丁贫小朱 发表于 2006-6-22 14:39:41

<p>前半部分感觉很好</p><p>最后一句值得想清楚</p>

香祖儿 发表于 2006-6-29 20:32:02

香祖儿谢谢几位的意见!

无泪之眼 发表于 2006-7-5 08:44:18

<p>语言不成熟啊,软绵绵的没有力度</p>
[此贴子已经被作者于2006-7-5 8:45:30编辑过]
页: [1]
查看完整版本: [原创]阳光透过玻璃